So here it is… my final blog post. It’s taken me
three weeks to sit down and start to write this, and I guess it has taken me that
long to really comprehend how this trip has affected my life. If I would have
written this post three, or even two, weeks ago I might have sounded idealistic…but
now that I’ve adjusted back to my world, my transformation is slightly
different than expected…
My first two weeks back in the US were overwhelming to say
the least. I think it would be safe to have called me an emotional wreck at the
time…(I cried for the silliest of reasons…which is quite opposite the person I
was when I left for Ecuador)!
I remember sitting in mass my very first Sunday back home
and getting emotional at the sight of all the wealth that surrounded me. I
pitied all of us there in that church… seeing all of the things we filled our lives with in the pursuit of happiness.
Now you may be thinking this is a little extreme, but it
really wasn’t when I had just spent the last eight weeks witnessing GENUINE happiness!
This is the happiness that taught me the greatest lesson of
all, humility. I have said it over
and over again in my reflections, but I had such an irrational, preconceived
notion that I was going down to Ecuador to save millions of people from
suffering…It wasn’t until I was down there trying to convince the most joyful
people that their lives were missing something that I realized how flawed my
sense of ego was…
Now please understand, I am by no means discrediting the
work that NGOs are doing to help improve the health or the financial stability
in developing countries such as Ecuador. I even believe that the work my
organization was doing was truly making a difference, but the idea that there
is some sort of martyrdom in the work is so incredibly twisted!
I guess to me it just seems like a simple business concept:
we have a surplus of money and goods, they have a need, and so we trade. The key to what many people don’t
realize is that the relationship is mutually
beneficial. Speaking from my own experience, my colleagues and I had a surplus
of business knowledge to trade and in exchange the Ecuadorians gave us family
values, culture, and, most importantly, perspective.
I cannot even fathom any of us thinking that we are in any
way superior to these people…
I felt like I was that little girl stepping on the ice again
for the first time… You think you are so incredible because you can let go of
the wall, until the experts come out and skate circles around you doing things
you never thought were possible. My host mother in Pulingui, Paula, was like
that professional skater, showing my how completely fulfilled and how
incredibly happy a person could be.
To be honest I don’t know if I even helped one single person
in my work in Ecuador, but holy cow did they help me. Maybe that’s the reason I
was put into an internship in development work and not relief work…to teach me
how to be humble…to teach me that sometimes the most life changing lessons are
not all about me.
The question now is how I will proceed in my life after
Ecuador. My priorities have completely transformed. I realize it’s no longer
about how much I love myself, but how much I spread my love with the world.
Happiness is not only inside of me, but rooted in the people I care for. And most importantly, in what seem like the
darkest, scariest moments there is always plenty of light if we just open our
eyes.
I find myself mentally returning to Ecuador daily when I
face a new challenge. Bringing myself back to reality…opening
my eyes, putting things into perspective, and rooting me back in what truly
matters.
Thank you to anyone who has followed me on this
rollercoaster of a journey and I hope that my realizations and experiences can
help you re-acknowledge the true joys of life.
Lots of love from the home,
Jen
